I remember this particular day, while I still worked in the financial industry. If you had walked into the room and seen us both, you would have stepped out of the office to check your surroundings to be sure you were in a bank. It didn’t feel like a financial conversation was taking place, it felt instead like a therapy session. I the therapist and she the client. She had just packed up a 35 year marriage and was starting over. She was in her late fifties. How would she start again? He was the one who managed the financial aspects of their lives. Her kids didn’t want anything to do with her. She had moved out and is now trying to find herself and sort her life out going forward. The uncertainty of the future. The pain of disconnection from her children and even more her grandchildren. The flurry of emotions. Where does she go from here? And that is a really valid question. I recently shared a post on my facebook page about a bride to be who got dumped just before her wedding. Where do you go from an experience, a situation or past that has so much pain, shame and hurt? How do you keep from becoming your story? From becoming a victim of your experience. I would love to tell you there is a magic recipe, but the truth is, there is none. I have found that when you’ve been through or are going through an experience that carries so much negative emotions being firmly rooted in your self-worth is key. A firm understanding of who you are, understanding your worth acts as a barrier both from sinking into despair and hopelessness and if you do, it acts as a springboard to help you get back on your feet and move on. Understand that you are worthy and your worth – your value – is not dependent on any qualifiers. You are not worthy because of what has happened or not happened to you. You are valuable, worthy of love, worthy to cultivate great relationships, do work you love, be your own person etc. not based on any criteria. You are worthy simply because you exist. You’re worthy because you are a living breathing soul. Don’t let any person or experience tell you otherwise. Having this understanding is pivotal in helping you navigate those experiences that seek to define you. If you would like to be a confident, happy and successful woman, visit: www.christianasenibo.com/coaching where I share more on how I can support you. If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ Signed To a strong, beautiful you Love and hugs Christiana
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Have you heard about them? I love their story!! Their sense of style is unparalleled. Their joy for life is infectious and seriously their enthusiasm should be bottled up and sold to every human on the planet. I would love to tell you that these people live in fairly comfortable surroundings and have pretty comfortable jobs and that their lives have the average challenges that come with living. But they don’t. These men have very low incomes and often do menial jobs, they live in low income communities and experience challenges that some of us can only imagine in a nightmare. Yet they manage to stay optimistic, to enjoy life. How come? Because they consider themselves to be the masters of their fate and the captain of their souls. Meet the Sapeurs of the Republic of Congo. A society of men renowned for elegant sophistication and grit. They decided that they are not what they do or where they’ve been. They understand that their surroundings, their work, their experience is not a measure of their worth. They don’t derive their worth or significance from their everyday experiences or what they’ve been through. Their worth is found in being who they choose to be. How they choose to show up every day. It’s 2017!!! Most of your happy new years must have been said by now and it’s now time to get the year started. So what defines you? Is it your influence, education, your wealth or the lack of it. Is it your pain or your past? Letting experiences or your substance (wealth, influence, education etc.) define you limits who you are and who you can be, plus it means you’ll always be at the mercy of people and things. As we start the new year, be the captain of your life. Don’t be limited by what didn’t work, who rejected you, what hurt you etc. This year is a blank canvas. And I absolutely love the beauty, opportunity and challenge a blank canvas brings because it’s the perfect setting for magic to occur. So take this year and totally re-write the rules (psss!!! write it in all your favourite colours; neon pink, poison green, smack bang yellow :-) ), and write it exactly as you like. Make this year one where you will find your true identity, be boss and totally rock!! As long as you are living and breathing you’re bound to experience some difficult or challenging times. If you do, in those moments choose to be like the Sapeurs be the captain of your Ship. If you would like help to become the captain of your ship, visit: www.christianasenibo.com/coaching If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ 
I love my Christmas tree.
With all the trimmings, colours that are vibrant And leaves, real or not It all reminds me of the freshness of life And Oh! I love the presents that will eventually Lay cosily at the bottom of the tree I’m not one for presents but I’m looking forward to My daughter opening hers I love all this about my tree, about Christmas But the most important aspect of Christmas I love Is the gift of life All this Christmas shenanigans is for me a huge reminder of the beauty and the privilege of life I GET to celebrate Christmas, I GET to experience the love, the beauty and the connection of the season. For that I am ever so thankful. Gift or not, I get the opportunity to experience a beautiful season in life And most importantly, In this season, I am reminded of the beautiful gift of Jesus The Messiah, the Saviour, the Lord, the baby And for that I am eternally grateful. Grateful that I have hope for this life and the life after Whatever you do this Christmas, don’t be too busy to stop, breathe and express gratitude. And whoever you connect with in this season of connections, remember YOU ARE ENOUGH. It’s not about how good their presents look compared to yours or how much pretty they look compared to you. Remember, you are worthy and you smokingly rock!! Have a very merry Christmas and Fabulous New Year. I’ll See you in the new Year!!! Hugs and Kisses Christiana If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ 
So what’s your drug of choice?? Now wait! Just before you think, hold on Christiana, what are you on? I do not use substance. I never have, never will and really if you know me, you’ll know I don’t do stuff like that. Ok. I hear you. Back to the question: What’s your substance of choice – cocaine, alcohol, workaholism, cannabis, excessive shopping, binge eating, TV binge watching, perfectionism, exercise and the list is endless. We all use. The question is not whether we use but why we use and how we can get past using because the real gist is, we all use. So how do we interrupt the cycle so we can go from using to wholeness? So just before you think of grabbing a placard and starting a “friendly protest”, let’s start with some definitions: What do I mean by using? My definition of using is when we avoid addressing an issue by using something else to cover up, avoid, cope with or simply deny the existence of the problem. This something else could be good in itself but the process of using this something else as a substitute instead of addressing the real issue turns that process into something negative. And using in this sense is not limited to drugs or alcohol. Substance users/ abusers usually use for a number of reasons; either to cope, numb, escape or avoid situations and in some cases they use for excitement and adventure. And in every case, substance use is never the real problem, substance use is only a symptom of the existing problem. Wholeness: I define it as a state of peace, gratitude, fulfilment, happiness. It’s a state of knowing you are enough and are content with who you are and where you are. So back to the essence of this post. Coping, avoiding, escaping, numbing are all very human and so easy to fall into. As long as you are living and breathing, there will always be difficult conversations that we’d prefer not to have, situations that knock the wind off your sails or issues that seem insurmountable. And in those moments, it would be a whole lot easier to avoid, escape etc. But instead of choosing those options that provide temporary release and longer term harm, chose options that instead address the issues, heal the pain and helps you move on. Ask for help professionally or by speaking to people who care about you. Always get to the root of what the real problem is instead of substituting. If you constantly feel the need to be around people and cannot bear the thought of being on your own. Instead of trying to make more friends, maybe dig deep to explore why? Choosing to address the problem is always the harder option but it is the healthier option and one with lasting benefits. My heart goes out to you if you are going through an experience where you are tempted to numb, cope etc. I hope you choose a better alternative than the above and I wish you well. If you are going through a tough time, leave me a comment let me know how you’re doing and what healthy option you’re taking. If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ Love and Hugs Christiana 
She's the prettiest lady I know. I know this lady, she's totally pretty!! I totally dig her. She's fly, she's totally chick. She's the kind of lady you want to be seen in a picture with, you want to be seen in her company, you want to be in her good books, and you want so desperately to be friends with her.
She's got the kind of hair you could only dream about but how dare you. Her make up could easily pass for being photo shopped but it's not. Her figure makes you hope she never gets anywhere close to your man otherwise you just may become his ex. The only words your limited vocabulary can find to describe her stilettos are words like seductive, beautiful, glamorous; and you are dying to have them. So who is she?? What’s her name? I'm glad you asked. Her name is perfectionism. Sounds familiar? You may have heard of her, you may know her personally or hold on.... you are her? Perfectionism is so seductive. You want to get everything right. It's got to be like they say "perfect" and if it isn't nothing else will do. Perfectionism carries in her designer bag a purse full of impatience and accessories of intolerance. Sacre bleu! Did I mention that behind that gorgeous figure, she is wearing a corset of not good enough. And oh I would have given anything to have her waistline. Can you relate to her? Sometimes we want to start a new venture, write the book, start the business, reach out to a new partner but we want everything to be perfect. We want to nail the speech to a T; we want our appearance, our presentation to be flawless. We prepare and prepare and prepare. At some point you’ve got to launch. You’ve got to step out, ready or not. Just step out. I’m not in anyway undermining preparedness or excellence, I’m just launching an “attack” on perfectionism because oh is she seductive. James Collins said good is the enemy of great and I agree only when you settle on good. But I dare to say that great is the enemy of good. If you have a plan, a blueprint, a desire, a proposal, get started, it may not be “perfect” and polished. It may not be “good enough” but that’s ok. Just get started because only in starting can you become great. If you don’t get started from where are, irrespective of how good or ready you are you will not see that desire materialize. Get started and then improve with each opportunity. Does this sound familiar “Just Do It” Yep!! That’s because me and Nike have something in common J I know what if feels like being the glamorous lady because I used to be her. I wanted everything so perfect, until I realized that the corset wasn’t that cool after all. I came to understand that leaning in and getting started was most important and then building on from there. I may not be as glamorous as I used to be but it feels great to give in to the vulnerability and take action. Can you identify with perfection? Those moments where you prepare and prepare and prepare and still are yet to take action. What stops you? How can you begin to take action. Leave me your comments in the comment section. If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ Love and Hugs Christiana 
“Sometimes you have to choose the hard path instead of the easy road”, this is what I was saying to Otonye – my 10year old daughter. Every time I am faced with a difficult decision, I have the option to either choose the difficult path or the easy option.
Here’s an example: you really want your partner to pay more attention to some gnawing issues that have been playing on your mind. Instead of him reading the latest edition of GQ; even though you’re prepared to give away all of your money if it means he gets to look like the gorgeous guy on the front cover, you however would love to talk to him about your pain and concerns. But here’s the dilemma; you worry that the loving conversation you envision will quickly turn into an argument where he would counter that he has always paid you attention and how you make him feel like the bad guy, and what more do you want from him etc. And so suddenly this conversation you hope would be an opportunity to be seen and heard by someone you truly care about blows up into something that leaves you with a bitter “sorry me”, “had I known” after taste. In the light of these thoughts you decide not to talk to him about it, concluding it’s better to “let the sleeping dog lie” and not stir the waters. As a result, you find yourself trapped with feelings of dissatisfaction and bouts of bitterness all dressed up in an outfit you call choosing peace. But is it? It’s definitely not peace if it leaves you with discomfort, uneasiness or pain whenever you think about it. Instead of choosing the road with less resistance, chose to go through the emotion and the discomfort and have the conversation. And yes the conversation may well blow up in your face but by choosing courage instead of “peace”, you’re reaffirming yourself and you’re sending a message to yourself that says, I’m important, my feelings are important and I’m worthy. And if the conversation doesn’t blow up in your face, you’ve not only reaffirmed your worthiness, you’ve also used the opportunity to deepen your relationship with your partner. Either way, you’ve chosen a healthy option rather than a resentful alternative. Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? or do you know someone ;-) who's experienced a situation like this? How did you or they deal with it? Leave me your comments in the comment section. If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ Love and Hugs Christiana 
No bathing suits allowed beyond this point. Really?? That was a curious sign. Dutch is the official language in Amsterdam, nonetheless majority of the citizens speak fluent English, so is this sign what I think it really is??
It was our wedding anniversary and Tubo and I had planned to stay some days at a luxury hotel on the outskirts of Amsterdam. It was a really beautiful hotel. While there, one night we went for a swim and then decided to use the Jacuzzi when I noticed the sign that read “No bathing suits allowed beyond this point”. This must be a twisted understanding of the English language. I’m sure no bathing suit means don’t wear your clothes beyond this point. Dah!! Of course we won’t. I mean, who would? It really can’t mean NO BATHING SUITS! Tubo and I were happily chatting away in the hot tub when I noticed this couple come in! No kidding! They were completely naked!! What the heck!! Seriously??!! In the same water space! People you are naked! You are taking this no bathing suits too far I thought. They really don’t mean it like that. They just mean don’t wear your clothes not take off your swim suits! But hey I thought, they are a young couple and probably really excited. I looked up at the time and it was gone past 10 pm and I thought maybe it’s adult’s time, you know, some kind of tradition they probably keep at the hotel. So the next day we decided to go to the Jacuzzi earlier so that if there was some freak tradition that happened after 10pm we would be well gone before they started. And to be extra sure, I checked it wasn’t a nudist hotel, in case I’d missed that info and thankfully it wasn’t. So off I went and Tubo was to join me later. If I thought I was seeing things the night before, this night I definitely had lost my mind. I opened the spa door to a completely naked man with only the towel covering his ……. Dear Lord I thought. I’m the joke! This people really meant it when they stated no bathing suits allowed. Now I went from what the heck to blissful curiosity with a hint of shock. Now I was really itching to ask someone, why in the world do you guys not cover up? Or simply to talk to a naked person, so I can have a tick on ‘the craziest thing I’ve done checklist’. I contemplatively went into the Jacuzzi all the while looking for an opportunity to ask one of my naked companions why they do this and then my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a group of senior citizens. And you won’t guess what! They were all walking up and down the spa room with everything “dangleable” (if that’s a word) dangling. This party just got crazier. These men and women were going around totally naked. I was the only one “fully clothed”. I bet they looked at me like I was totally destroying the mood and flanking the rules. I’m the outcast, the rebel, the arrogant lady and yes the crazy one. This was just too much! Now more than before I desperately wanted to ask someone what this hotel was about? Is there more to this hotel than meets the eyes? Are they going to suddenly turn into werewolves or something sinister? I got out, took my thoughts with me and looked for a spot in the spa that had not yet been graced with some naked bodies and aha! The Sauna was empty. I took my “clothed self” there contemplating how I would go about talking to someone without feeling out of my depths. You’ve got to understand, even though by now I had a burning desire to find out why, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to a naked man or woman. Where would I begin to focus my eyes? If I try maintaining eye contact, my mind may well go into that dare devil game to try and get me to peek at some other parts of their bodies besides their eyes and even if I focus hard on what they are saying, I would have to try even harder not to suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter or alarming shock at the thought of talking to a naked man/woman. While I was going back and forth with this madness of pure shock and inexpressible hilariousness, there he was. This fully naked man, walked into the sauna and sprawled himself across the bench. Just me and a naked man. No way! In that moment I realized that courage and vulnerability are not mutually exclusive. There are times you feel really scared of taking an action or a decision but you know you have to and in those moments you have to confront your insecurities, uncertainties, fear etc and simply do what’s in your heart. For me it was talking to a naked man, for you it may be something bigger but we will always find ourselves at those cross roads where we either take the leap and jump and be forever free or surrender to the vulnerability and hide and be forever bound. So for me, I chose to jump and I opened my mouth and began to speak to this graciously naked man and oh my I would love to tell you what we talked about, but if I do I’ll have to kill you :-) So your turn. What area’s have you found yourself lacking in courage or what areas have you experienced vulnerability and courage and how did you find your way? If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ Love and hugs Christiana 
What a year off!!! If you’re new to my blog, I took a year off, and what a year it has been. From travelling to New York and eating giant ice creams while on cruise to see the statue of Liberty, to climbing 704 steps to get to the top of the Eiffel Tower, this particular venture was just a show off! No thanks to my husband and daughter who held me ransom to the feat. In my opinion, they just wanted to show off as being fit and can do difficult stuff. Need I say I didn't find it funny afterwards but I love them terribly. And then I went abode the SS Great Britain Museum Ship in Bristol, which I must commend was pretty elaborate for it's time. All in all, I have had a full on year. Those experiences where beautiful, captivating and invigorating all the same time (and did I also mention exhausting), but the most important part of my year was being able to reflect. I took time to consider where I’d come from, how far I’d come and where I am going to. It gave me an opportunity to examine my perspective. I started to see my life as dots connecting. Events in my life are not in isolation if only I was willing to see it. If I was going through a difficult period, it wasn’t pain it was an opportunity for growth. Maybe the difficult period I thought I was going through was an opportunity for growth so that I could be a shoulder to lean on for someone else going through pain. A failed business venture is not failure but maybe the opportunity to gain business acumen to take into another business idea and make it fly. You see, it’s about connecting the dots. If you look closely and chose to see it, events in your life are not isolated one offs. When you connect the dots, your life will have richer meaning. All of these reflection and perspective eventually took me down the curious path that brought me right to the door step of gratitude. That wise and patient aged woman. I met her and we were introduced. I realized I had a lot to be thankful for. That I lived in a country where I didn’t have to sell my kidneys in order to get money to survive, that my daughter has an opportunity to go to school, to read a book. That I have my feet and hands and can move freely. That I can breathe freely and don't have to take permission from my grumpy neighbor to do so. That I have the many "little blessings" that if I had to pay for, I could never have enough for. So this post is about my year off connecting the dots and keeping that aged woman close - gratitude. What are your dots and how are you staying grateful? If this blog helped you, leave me a comment. If it didn’t, then pass it on to someone you really don’t like. And if you think it’s super cool!!! Please pass it on to a few people you like. Thanks for checking me out ☺ Love and Hugs Christiana |
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