© 2017. Christiana Senibo. All rights reserved
I remember a friend getting a pair of shoes for this really important meeting. It felt like the ultimate accessory she had to have. It was a high end brand and she bought it thinking, “am going to look really important when I wear this. I would walk into that room and the other ladies would know how much class I’ve got. Now they’ll really know am a chick (a fashionable and pretty lady), that am hot and I’ve got a great fashion sense”. The shoes worked the magic. She got a number of compliments; all the while feeling pretty important. After all was said and done, the shoes had to come off leaving her ankle aching from walking in those high heels all night.
Are you familiar with this kind of feeling or am I describing you to a tee. The sad part of the story is not the money she had to part with in buying the shoes or the aching of her ankle but it’s the feeling of validation she attributed to the shoes. Her validation came not from who she is as an individual but from what she wore.
The shoes were what made her feel important and accomplished. It made her feel like she mattered. Forget the fact that she is smart, pleasant, genuine; forget all that let’s just focus on what those shoes meant to her. The shoes were a high end brand and wearing it was a statement all by itself. A statement which she let become her measuring stick.
Am all for fine things if you can afford them, but fine things should not become a yard stick for who we are. Our society is full of class. People are defined by what they wear, where they live, what they drive; so much so that we would do anything to fit into a certain class we feel we should belong to at the expense of other important aspects of our lives.
Don’t be defined by any other yard stick besides those that truly matter. Your validation should come from who you are as an individual: are you treating people kindly, are you making right financial decisions, are you being true to who you are rather than who people expect you to be? Are you upholding those values that are true to you as opposed to those values society expect of you?
Let your validation come from the knowing that you are living true to who you are and that you are making choices everyday that are in alignment with your values, not choices that are a result of people and society’s expectations of you.
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