How to be self confident. The key you've been missing

Watch the video or read the blog below.

If you do a google search or youtube you will find a plethora of information on how to be self-confident and how to develop self-confidence, some of which I'll be sharing with you today. But the missing information we don't often hear is about the things that get in the way. 

What is getting in the way of us being self-confident. We need to talk more about those and I'll be sharing the key you've been missing.

Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills, your abilities and what you believe about yourself. It's about accepting yourself flaws and all. It's about communicating effectively and being assertive. It's about knowing that you have what it takes to succeed and that you can succeed. Self-confidence is about setting and holding your boundaries.

Here are some steps to build confidence:

Accept yourself. This means that you are not in shame about any part of your life or who you are. It does not mean that there are not parts of you that you don't like and it doesn’t mean that there's no room for improvement and that you cannot be better. It simply means that you're not going to be in shame about any part of your life. That you make it okay being who you are and you give yourself permission to be better.

When you accept yourself, you can go into a room without the pressure to be perfect. You can go into any place and before anybody and not have to please or perform or act. You can show up just as you are knowing that not everybody will get you and not everybody will like you and that's okay. This means you can go into a place with a positive energy, able to bring your gifts, your talents your smarts without being afraid that you may be judged or that you may not be accepted.

Know you are worthy of being treated with respect. This is another key to being self-confident. Know that no matter what you've done wrong, no matter what you didn't get right, no matter what mistakes you have made, you are worthy to be treated with respect, irrespective of who is involved. It means you don't give people permission to shame you or talk you down.

You are a work in progress. Know that you can always be better. Know that whatever version of you exists today, there's still room to be better, as long as you're living and breathing. It’s about staying open to that possibility. That's how you can show up in any space and accept yourself because even though you’ve not presented your best work, you know you are a work in progress and there’s room to do better and to evolve.

Know that you are special. Imagine you're the daughter of royalty. You will walk into any space with grace and your shoulders squared because you know who you are. I want you to carry that sense of being special and unique with you.
Because if truth be told, as long as you’re living and breathing you're special. There are no two people like you and the gifts you have, your values and your perspective are unique.
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​Know you can succeed. Self-confidence is about having the knowledge that you can succeed at whatever you put your heart to. You may have failed a number of times at different things. To be self confident is knowing that if you get an understanding of something, if you put your heart and commitment to something you can achieve it. Having that self belief will help you show up confidently. 
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Now you know the steps to develop self confidence. So what is the key you’ve been missing:

Buying into the messages that you’re not enough. Stop making it ok when you are told either overtly or covertly that you are not enough. Maybe you didn’t get the job you applied for or you gave a bad presentation or you have been told by the media that your body doesn’t fit into the “standard”. Don’t assign meaning by concluding that you are not enough. Get a different perspective following all the steps above. Things have not worked out this time but you are evolving. Plus, your body is fine the way it is.
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Not stepping out of your comfort zone enough. Self confidence is both psychology and science. Not hard science of course. But the science of repeating a process over and again and the result will be mastery.
But psychology in the sense that you have to work on how you perceive things and with that understanding  - as with steps listed above to develop self confidence - you take action over and again to step outside your comfort zone. Do it over and again and with each time you’ll be getting more self confident.


To your confident self x

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