I remember this particular day, while I still worked in the financial sector. If you had walked into the room and seen us both, you would have stepped out of the office to check your surroundings to be sure you were in a bank. It didn’t feel like a financial conversation was taking place, it felt instead like a therapy session. I the therapist and she the client. She had just packed up a 35 year marriage and was starting over. She was in her late fifties. How would she start again? He was the one who managed the financial aspects of their lives. Her kids didn’t want anything to do with her. She had moved out and is now trying to find herself and sort her life out going forward. The uncertainty of the future. The pain of disconnection from her children and even more her grandchildren. The flurry of emotions. Where does she go from here?
And that is a really valid question. I recently shared a post on my facebook page about a bride to be who got dumped just before her wedding. Where do you go from an experience, a situation or past that has so much pain, shame and hurt? How do you keep from becoming your story? From becoming a victim of your experience. I would love to tell you there is a magic recipe, but the truth is, there is no none. I have found that when you’ve been through or are going through an experience that carries so much negative emotions being firmly rooted in your self-worth is key. A firm understanding of who you are, understanding your worth acts as a barrier both from sinking into despair and hopelessness and if you do, it acts as a springboard to help you get back on your feet and move on.
Understand that you are worthy and your worth – your value – is not dependent on any qualifiers. You are not worthy because of what has happened or not happened to you. You are valuable, worthy of love, worthy to cultivate great relationships, do work you love, be your own person etc. not based on any criteria. You are worthy simply because you exist. You’re worthy because you are a living breathing soul. Don’t let any person or experience tell you otherwise. Having this understanding is pivotal in helping you navigate those experiences that seek to define you.
If you would like to explore this conversation further and continue on your journey, join me at: www.iammorethanastory.org
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